We all share a common primitive language that is driven by our feelings and we believe that we are entitled to them like it is our birthright. In some sense, we are. But how right is it that a feeling is strong enough to compel us to subjugate anyone or everyone to it? I guess that is an open debate.
I often forget how much influence our memories can have, impacting our self. It usually doesn’t take much: a simple word, an image or anything that overloads your senses and BOOM! I now go down a memory lane I thought gone. I now flashback to a nice recollection of ruined memories. And the worse part is that this spark that sets off will most likely try to hinder me every time I try to accomplish or experience something.
Maybe, ‘The Joker’ was right:
“You of all people should know, there’s nothing so cruel as memory…. the pointy biting little thunderbolts, unwanted party crashers, SCREAMERS through your synapses.. inescapable, unrelenting…. not at all friendly. You can’t even escape into MADNESS!”
Or maybe it’s just about how I walk on a line that gets thinner as I walk on it. And the fall would lead me down to gaze at nothing. Would that still be me?
Every step is like a new puzzle. A challenge that blurs the path I walk on. As I stay still and thinking about stepping forward, I see what I walk to and what I leave behind. And it is a battle of keeping me still on this line.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to you or to anyone else in this world but a few who really care. Because you’ve got your own ‘line’ to walk on. And it gives you the privilege of ignoring, not caring and not even considering the fact that the path you try to walk on could potentially cut off some paths or even lead to destroying others. How convenient.
I can understand and accept that everyone is entitled to put themselves above everything else. It is just fair to look after yourself. Anyone would do the same.
Conflict does not form itself through diversity. It grows through the intolerance of that diversity. Denying others from what they are or impeding their progression. It then proceeds to evolve into a much more realistic issue. Some will struggle and some will strive to go forward. But that conflict has marked them for life. Like a stone with fissures.
There is no cure and no fixing to the consequences of conflicts as they get engraved. And some are now carrying rubbles. Was it really their own fault and mistake that brought them their own misery? Perhaps.
Trying to preserve what is left of yourself is not an easy battle. Sometimes it feels like sitting in a dark room with a spotlight directed at you, burning your eyes and your skin. Or having some ghastly tortured bodiless versions of yourself trying to tear themselves out of your head and limbs as if they were unwillingly trapped inside you. Or hearing a constant anguishing scream howling through your mind although there is no sound around you. This is somewhat how it feels like to be on the verge of insanity.
Keeping it together in this chaos usually relies on asking yourself just a single question:
“What are you going to do about it? Your time and those of others depend on that answer.”
Fear will catch on to you.